If you’re having a bad day, just remember that the Raptor sounds from Jurassic Park were actually a recording of turtles having sex
(via ambiambisinistrous)
(Source: arthurpendragonns, via lokigotwholockedinhogwarts)
An episode of Supernatural called ‘Hell’s Kitchen’ guest starring Gordon Ramsay playing himself possessed by a demon.
So just playing himself?
Yes, but more like ‘this virgin is so undercooked she could give birth to the next son of God at any moment!’ or ‘I’ve met hell hounds who can prepare a more elegant meal than this shit! And what’s this? Maggots? Those don’t go with angel blood!’
Just in case you had any doubts.
(via heyilikeyourassbutt)
(Source: yourfireflycatchingdays, via shercockandmycrotch)
if you ever feel bad about yourself, just remember this one time in my english class, we were writing horror stories and one of the girls wrote “it was friday the 13th, the night before halloween” for her opening sentence
(via walrustache)
So my mom and I have been working the same waitress job for 5-6 years now. She had been waitressing years before, but this is recently. Anyway, about… 15 minutes ago this guy she waited on left and told her to take care. Just that. Prior to this she had talked to him about Italy. Her people are from Florence, this and that, and she said she’s never been. She’s got 8 years of art education and she’s working a waitress job. It’s pretty… Sad and disappointing, I guess. Her and my father divorced 6 years ago and she hasn’t had a real job ever. Just been stuck in a small town she’s not from.
This man who we have never seen before tipped her 1000 dollars for a trip to Italy. Walked out, not another word.
…you know. Just when I start to lose faith in humanity….Hm.
(via walrustache)
things i dont need in my life:
- wasps
- those stringy things on the banana
- commercials on youtube
(via narrielgraygubler)
